The 3 Real Reasons He Doesn't Listen To You

Photo: MAYA LAB / Shutterstock
man ignoring woman

"Why won't he listen to me?"

If you've ever said that, you might be surprised to find that you can change the pattern without changing him at all!

Here are 3 surprising reasons your husband or boyfriend doesn't listen. Try out my tips and see what changes...

RELATED: If You Want Seriously Deep Love, Follow The 5 C's Of Lasting Relationships

The 3 Surprising (Real) Reasons He Doesn't Listen to You

1. You talk too much (without saying more).

Because many women suffer from a feeling of not being heard, they try to make up for it by talking more than necessary.

A man will often tune out his wife or girlfriend after 10-15 minutes. When he does, she intuitively notices she's not being heard and talks more, in an attempt to get his attention.

Men pick up on an energy of resentment and often deal with it by tuning out even more. Have you ever experienced a moment like that?

Your husband or boyfriend will listen better if you just share what you want to say in a few minutes.

RELATED: 8 Signs Your Relationship Is Totally Solid And Built-To-Last

2. You catch him at the wrong time.

Some women ask their men to listen when they're already in the middle of something.

Advertisement Struggling to hit your weight-loss goals? The problem could actually stem from your mind. Noom helps you master the ups and downs of your health journey.
Click here and try it out today!

Of course, you want his attention, but if he's already focused on something else, he naturally won't be able to give it to you 100%. Talk before he starts a project — and if you forget before he gets started, respect his time and let him finish.

3. You believe he won't listen.

If you've ever been caught in the first two patterns, you probably found yourself saying again, "He just never listens!"

RELATED: This Tiny Clue Is Why I Shouldn’t Have Married My Husband

When you put that belief out there, you only set the stage for it to happen again. Great communication is the foundation of any good marriage. So communicate what you need. Try this:

"Honey, I really want you to pay 100% attention to what I want to share with you.
When could you give me that?"

It is okay and appropriate to expect that attention and time from him! When he gives it to you, share what you want in a time frame that honors his attention span and your needs.

He will be shocked when you say, "I'm done." He will exclaim, "Really?" And he'll be even more willing to listen the next time.

RELATED: 9 Game-Changing Relationship Rules The Happiest Couples Follow

Carol Tuttle is a professional speaker, author, and the best-selling author of 4 books, The Path to Wholeness, Remembering Wholeness, It's Just My Nature, and Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!

This article was originally published at The Carol Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.