Karen Finn, PhD - Expert

    When I was struggling to make sense of the chaotic mix of emotions I was experiencing while going through divorce, I found one book to be particularly helpful. It was called: “Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends.” While it gave me a lot of answers and helped me understand my emotions better, I felt I needed the support of others going through the same struggles. Through an Internet search for divorce recovery groups that were based on that book, I located you. But because of scheduling conflicts, I was not able to join your workshops. Instead, since I felt I needed help right away, I opted to work with you one-on-one over the phone.

    When we first started talking, I was an emotional mess! I felt hopeless, lost, grief-stricken, depressed, full of guilt and shame, and could barely function in day-to-day activities. It has been a very long process to get from a position of needing immediate emotional first aid to now being able to think more clearly and having a positive outlook on the next chapter of my life. Along the way, you have been a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, and pushed me at other times when I needed to be pushed. Sometimes you have stopped me from wallowing in self-pity and even called “BS” on me to get me back on track! I have gone from having sessions where I would break down crying to now being able to laugh and joke while talking with you. It’s such a great feeling!

    It was a major emotional milestone for me when I graduated from “divorce recovery” to “life coaching.” You got me to that point. I am very glad that I found you. Thank you for helping me! I look forward to living the happy life that you have inspired me to live.

    Sincerely,

    Brad

    I'm about to finalize my divorce. I had my last WYRE (When Your Relationship Ends) class on Monday. I only went because Nancy wouldn't leave me alone about taking the course. She took it in Austin after a nasty divorce and she sings its praises. So I said okay, but to myself I said, I'll go, but I don't have to participate.

    When I went to the first class, I had a little bit of trouble finding the building. I called Nancy from the parking lot and told her that if I wasn't in the right place, I was going home. Nancy immediately called Karen Finn, the coach, and told her I was about to bolt and to get me out of my car. Karen met me at the door. During the first class, Karen was reassuring and calming.

    There are 5 people in my class. At first, we were all inhibited and unsure of what was going to take place. As the classes went on, we opened up more and more each week and we've grown closer each week. These people know more about me than anyone, except maybe Nancy and my family.

    When I started the course, I was angry at my husband, very angry, I'm talking madder than hell. Like my mother when she was divorced, I didn't want to let go of that anger. I wanted to feed it and hold it close to me. I was very hurt by his actions and, frankly, I was a mess. I had been deceived, disrespected, damaged, angered, all of the bad things that you can think of. Probably much the way you feel or felt when you were going through your divorce or break up.

    Earlier this week, I was talking with Karen and she brought up that angry me who wouldn't get out of the car for that first class. I told Karen that I barely remember that angry girl. It seems like a light year ago. I feel so much better now. I've learned that I need to let that anger go; it doesn't hurt anyone but me. I've learned to value myself and take care of myself and I've learned self-respect and self-worth. I've made lasting friendships with my classmates and I can talk to them and Karen about anything. For the most part, I'm on the downhill side of this deal.

    Oh, and I had to tell Nancy that she was right, I needed the classes and I thanked her for "making" me go and for telling Karen to get me out of the car the night of that first class.

    Sorry I've gone on and on, but I want you to know how much you can benefit from these classes.

    Melody

(Nancy was Melody's friend and employer who had been through a previous WYRE class)

Our work together gave her a confidential sounding board for expressing all of her thoughts and fears about her ex, their divorce process, and how to move on with her life as a single mom returning to the work force.

She realized her emotions were normal and that she was very capable of moving on with her life.

Today she's living a great new life.  Being a single mom isn't quite as limiting or scary as she thougth.  She's happily dating and in school to update her skills and her employability.