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Mom Wonders If She’s Wrong For Not Going To Daughter’s Graduation After She Chose Her Father Over Her

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Woman graduating

Graduation for many is happening right now. High schools are saying congratulations to the students who prepare for college. College graduates are now preparing to tackle the world and go for the dream job they want with their significant other perhaps.

Parents are happy to watch their children walk down to receive their diplomas.

One mother, however, is conflicted because of her decision not to attend her daughter's graduation.  

The mother chose not to attend her daughter's graduation because she wanted to show actions have consequences. 

The woman took to Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" to tell her story and why she did what she did. 

In this subreddit, you can present an argument to determine if you were wrong. You submit your argument, and after deliberations, commenters will decide if (YTA) You're the A--hole or you're (NTA) Not the A--hole.

The mother begins her post by saying that her daughter's father was involved throughout her life when her daughter was younger. She says her daughter was a "dad's girl," but when her father remarried, everything changed. 

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"He barely called and just abandoned her for his new family. This was obviously hard on her and she rebelled a lot. But she went to therapy and seemed good," the mother wrote.

The mother said her daughter has not seen her father since she was 12, and he speaks to her three times a year at a minimum.

"When he calls, she believes he is now back in her life for good then he ghosts her for the remainder of the year," the mother writes.

She and her daughter have a great relationship, but when her daughter's graduation came, she wanted to invite her father and son instead of her mother. Because they dislike one another, the mother was unable to attend. 

Her daughter said it was the only way he would attend if the mother were not present. 

"I angrily told her, I felt betrayed and won't forgive her for this. She just told me I have been there for many of her milestones and she wants her father to experience some too," she wrote.

The mother begged her, but she ignored her and said she was sorry but refused to change her mind.

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The mother was very distraught, so her sister offered to take her out during her daughter's graduation to take her mind off it, to which she agreed.

On the ceremony day, her daughter was crying because her father ghosted her and stopped calling her.

She told her daughter to make the most out of her graduation but was shocked when she was told she still was not going to her graduation now that her father was not attending. 

"I told her I'm sorry that I already had plans. She then screamed and called me a bad mom. I apologize once again and got ready to meet my sister." 

She states in her post she chose not to go because "I felt betrayed and wanted to teach her actions have consequences, even if it broke me that I didn't go." 

Her sister says she did the right thing, but a mother at the ceremony said her daughter was depressed during the ceremony, so now she is wondering if what she did was wrong. 

Is she the A--hole? Commenters have stated no; she is NTA.

Some have found this one to be a complex topic to decide on for many reasons.

While she does say that the mother refusing to go is a bad thing, her daughter was wrong in asking her mother not to attend, but the mother could've spoken about how the love she wants from her father is something she will never get back. 

Another user agrees that the mother was NTA in this and said that just because she was not present does not mean they can still celebrate.

"Take her to dinner or throw a graduation party for her and tell her how proud you are," the user says at the end of their comment.

Many agree that it is time the mother talks with her daughter, stating that her father will never change. He's constantly done this, and whatever hope she is trying to hold onto, hoping her father will reunite with her, it will not happen.

Everyone has concluded that this was the way for her to learn her lesson.

Actions have consequences, and her action of inviting her father, who was never going to show up, resulted in her mother not attending because she felt betrayed by her daughter's actions.

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Kurtis Condra is a writer for YourTango based in San Francisco CA. When he's not writing about news and celebrities, in his off time he walks his pet turtle in the park enjoying the sun and time with his pet.