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Dad Asks If He's Wrong For Installing A Hidden Camera In His House As A 'Trust Check' Without Telling His Daughter

Photo: Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock
Dad and daughter arguing

After installing a hidden camera at his home, a father went to Reddit to ask people whether he is wrong for doing so. 

The man wrote that his 24-year-old daughter had recently moved back home as she wanted to save up for a new apartment. The couple let her stay while charging her a small sum of rent every month. 

Once, when the couple was on a vacation, the daughter threw a huge party, he wrote on Reddit, “Upon return, we noted items in the house damaged or missing. Daughter admitted to what happened and committed to pay for damaged/stolen items.” 

The man wasn’t thrilled with having strangers in his home so, his daughter agreed to not having people over. 

“I made it very clear to my daughter that no visitors were allowed in our house in the future unless we were present and/or approved in advance,” he explains.

But it seems the man still didn’t trust his daughter as he secretly installed a camera in his home the next time his wife and he went on a vacation.

His wife said he was wrong for installing a camera without letting his daughter know.

While on vacation, he found out that while his daughter didn’t throw a party, she had someone over and it wasn’t pleasant. 

“Although there wasn't a party going on, my daughter had a guy in the house engaging in an activity I can't unsee,” he explains.

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The man told his wife about it but she was angry at the man for doing such a thing especially when neither his daughter nor she knew about this.

“She accused me of violating my daughter's trust and dignity. She immediately called my daughter and advised that I was 'spying' on her.” 

The man doesn’t think he was wrong.

The man further wrote that he doesn’t think that he was wrong as he was making sure his house stays in order. “

I believe I was within my rights to protect and surveille my house in the manner that I did,” he writes. 

He further defended his actions by saying, “There was only a single camera that covered the living room - not an area where there is normally an expectation of privacy.”

Although his intentions were good, his wife still stated that the way he went about this was wrong.

“[My] wife's position is that I had no right to put a camera in the living room without her knowledge.”

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Even the daughter claimed that she wouldn’t have anyone over if she knew about the camera and believed that she didn’t do anything wrong as “she was a rent-paying adult, and was entitled to have a single person over.” 

There have been many mixed reactions to this situation.

Some people are defending the man saying that he wasn’t wrong as he just wanted to make sure nothing happens to his house.

One user wrote, “He didn’t violate her trust. She lives in his house and he gave her literally 1 rule and she broke it.”

While some users criticized the man for his actions, simply because he didn’t tell his wife or his daughter about the camera.

“There was absolutely NO reason to put a camera in the living room without telling anyone who lives there ESPECIALLY when a doorbell camera would have been completely fine and effective in seeing if anyone is coming over.”   

But the general consensus is that both parties crossed a line. 

As clinical psychologist, Patricia O’Gorman tells us, “Trust is a two way street. Parents need to trust their child enough to convey their worries … A child needs to be able to trust their parents in order to feel safely vulnerable in articulating the enormous peer pressure they are under to party.”

Many comments agreed that both the man and his daughter were in the wrong.

“Your daughter is wrong for breaking your rules. That is your house and you get to decide who comes in…You on the other hand should not have set up a camera. That is an invasion of privacy.”

It seems that taking sides in this situation would be hard as the actions of the daughter and the dad were wrong. While the dad violated the daughter’s privacy, the daughter too broke her dad’s trust. 

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Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer and an Editorial Intern at YourTango who writes on entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.

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