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It's time to let him go.
By Isis Nezbeth — Written on Jun 14, 2020
Love is a real son of a gun. Although your relationship might have been great for a while, sometimes it starts to fall apart. I’m talking about the woman who is turning down great men left and right to be faithful to her situationship with a guy she knows is no good for her.
"But I can't break up with my boyfriend! I love him!" Ladies, it's important to remember that "I love him" is not a good enough reason to let him treat you so poorly.
This is just one reason why you can't leave a toxic relationship! But why else can't you break up him when you know you should?
1. You’re convincing yourself that nothing is wrong.
Unfortunately, denial is a drug of choice for many women.
First things first. You’ve got to come to the light. If all of your friends and family are questioning why you’re still holding on to such a broken person or relationship, it’s usually because you shouldn’t be.
You’re doing yourself a disservice by lying to yourself. Still, a woman in love can manage to convince herself that there isn’t anything wrong with her man or her relationship.
2. You’re convincing yourself that overall you’re happy.
Many of us were taught that “if the good outweighs the bad” we should stick things out. We don't understand that phrase too well as millennials.
How can I put this? It doesn’t mean if you can convince yourself that most things are "okay" that the bad things aren’t that bad. It doesn’t mean that you have to be "ride or die" just because the two of you shared some good times.
If you’re having to constantly tell yourself that overall you’re happy, you’re not really happy.
3. You’re afraid of losing him to another woman.
Another big thing women do is stay in toxic relationships simply because we don’t want to “lose” our guy to the other woman (or women) in his life.
It's literally the dumbest decision you can make for yourself. If other women can occupy his time and attention that easy, let him go on his merry way! I promise you’ll bounce back.
4. You’re afraid of being alone.
Getting out of a really serious relationship changes a lot of things in your life. You’re used to thinking, feeling, and living for the two of you. That’s just who we are as women.
Don’t be afraid to leave a no-good man because you’re afraid of being alone. Being alone after being in a toxic relationship is an amazing way to build yourself back up and place your crown back on your head where it belongs.
5. You’re worried that you won’t find better.
We don’t really like to admit it, but another reason you can’t leave him when you know you should is that you’re afraid you won’t find anyone better than him. And when I say better than him, I mean in the way you see him — not everybody else.
You don’t think you’ll find anyone who makes you feel the way he does, but if you heal and move on, you’ll find someone who will completely change your outlook on love. That's because they will actually put in the effort to love you the right way — and that's exactly what you deserve!
6. You’re trying to hold on to past memories.
You want to know why it’s so easy to convince yourself that you need to work through this toxic relationship? Because you’re stuck on things that used to be.
You’re stuck thinking about how he was when you first got together. You’re still telling people about the way he used to make you feel and things he used to do. You need to live life in the present.
Remember, he was never supposed to stop doing the things it took to get you in the first place!
7. You’re trying to avoid the 'I told you so' comments.
When you finally get out of this toxic relationship, you’ll have a few people who will be proud of you and cheer you on, but you’ll also have to face those people who can’t wait to tell you, “I told you so.”
To be quite frank, it’s annoying, but it's not the end of the world. Let them say their piece and wash it down with a shot of tequila.
8. You’re putting him first.
At the end of the day, you’re putting him and his feelings over your own. You’re not choosing yourself, and that will always put you on the wrong track.
Ask yourself one question: Does he put my feelings before his own? I’m assuming the answer is no. Choose yourself — you're worth it. Now, set yourself free!
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Isis Nezbeth is a fresh, free-spirited freelancer who writes about relationships and lifestyle topics.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.