Heartbreak

Exes Don't Miss You When You're Gone — They Miss You When You Move On

Photo: Vadym_Hunko / Shutterstock
woman looking back

Isn’t it so weird how the moment you start to feel like you’re actually moving on from someone is the exact moment they text you?

While I still slightly believe that men have some internal radar that detects when a woman is no longer into him, that has yet to be proven.

So for now, we just have to accept this weird phenomena as something we can’t explain.

It’s annoying and the worst when your ex decides to reach out after you’ve finally put the breakup to bed.

RELATED: The Psychological Reason We Obsessively Text People Who Ignore Us

It can feel like you’re taking a million steps backwards, and like you’re right back to feeling as crappy as you did when the relationship first ended.

But it doesn’t have to feel that way. Sometimes all you need is a new perspective.

Lately, when my exes reach out to me, I've been treating them with total and complete love.

If my ex texting me a super cute “what up shorty,” after 11 p.m. on a Monday means I’m moving on, then I tell myself to be stoked, not sad.

If he randomly texts me to name-drop his new girlfriend, I jump for joy not wallow in pity.

I’m moving on. He can feel it, and he’s doing everything in his power to keep me in that sad place.

RELATED: 17 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Just Pretending To Be Over You

So if all this is men trying to keep us from being happy without them — which is a phenomenon sometimes they can’t understand — why are we letting them win? Why are we falling for it?

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Don’t let a guy who broke your heart ever have the power to do it again.

Don’t confuse his unexpected text or interaction as anything other than him trying to manipulate or confuse you.

Exes who reach back out when they see or hear that you’re finally happy are just trying to mess with you. Plain and simple.

RELATED: 10 Signs A Master Manipulator Is Trying To Control You

And once you realize that there’s nothing but bad intentions coming from this person, you can be even happier that you let that relationship go.

You only want to make room in your life for people who can add something positive to it.

So if you’re out and about with a smile finally back on your beautiful face, and your ex decides it’s a perfect time to text you, don’t hate. Get happy.

Be glad he’s reaching out because it means he knows you’re moving on.

If you have to respond — even though I think the best answer to a guy like that is almost always silence — be nice. There’s no need to argue or even engage with someone who just wants to make you sad.

You deserve to move on, and you shouldn’t let a text from your ex keep you from doing just that.

RELATED: 5 Things You Need To Accept In Order To Stop Thinking About Someone

Emily Blackwood is a writer who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between. Follow her on Twitter.

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