Photo: Unsplash/Judeus Samson
The world needs your superhero talents!
By Lyssa deHart — Written on Mar 11, 2020
I can’t speak for anyone else, but there have been many times in my life I wished I was super.
Do you remember being a kid and playing at being a superhero? You might have had a cape or not. You would run around solving problems, saving kittens, and using your magic lasso to catch the "bad guys."
What happened? When did we lose that internal optimism that we could be strong enough to solve the problems of the world?
Maybe it’s because life has become more complicated than it was when you were five. And, stepping into situations to save others comes at a cost. And, honestly, it’s probably not your job.
But what about saving yourself? What about focusing that laser vision on yourself and being a hero in your life?
When you learn how to empower yourself and strengthen your positive personality traits, your good qualities will shine through.
Didn’t you ever want to be a superhero? Well, lucky for you, you can take steps to explore and wake up your inner superhero.
First things first, what makes a superhero? Well, there is a list of personality traits and positive attributes to refer to.
- Courage
- Curiosity
- Open mindset
- Healthy attitude
- Full integrity
- Runs toward responsibility
- Acknowledges their superpower
- Leaves their comfort zone
- Considers consequences
Which of these positive personality traits and good qualities do you need to practice in order to fit into your Super Outfit?
Here's a hint: Most of your problems are self-induced. It's harsh but true.
We spend a lot of time circling the drain on things like, "Who created this mess? Who's responsible? They should take ownership!"
And, for many people, that’s where the buck stops. Then others know, "I’m responsible for my happiness, regardless, end of the story, period."
Yet, if we take no action, these are just so many words, whispered in the dark that rarely see the light of day.
How do you take responsibility? Are you responsible for everything? Yes and no.
You are not responsible for everything — you are only responsible for your response to everything.
It is that ability to assess if this is within your locus of control: "What I say, think, and do, is wholly mine."
And, the better you get at keeping your focus on these elements of yourself, the more empowered you will become, and the clearer your inner superhero will become.
How badly do you want to feel empowered?
Empowerment comes down to choices.
My Grandfather told me that I had a choice in every situation that came my way. At the time, I disagreed.
"If someone points a gun at me, I don’t have a choice if they pull the trigger!"
He responded, "Yet, you do have a choice in how you respond."
This example is extreme and hopefully, I don’t have to put it to the test. Still, it illustrates that personal responsibility requires courage, and it’s also a choice.
My Grandfather lived through two World Wars, the Great Depression, and moving out to make his way in the world at 12. The man had courage in spades.
And, this conversation is one of the most valuable lessons in my life.
Thinking about my choices and my attitudes, these are the qualities I take into my experiences. Courage and a mindset of choosing the empowering story, have colored my superhero outfit.
Defensiveness is a strategy to avoid responsibility.
True responsibility means that you are willing to look at the complicated, complex, and scary truth about yourself in any situation. It’s also about a willingness to make hard choices for yourself — the ones that lead to a more integrity-based life.
Somehow, since my Grandfather’s day, we have gotten away from this simple truth.
You can look at something broken, obsess about why it broke, and obsess about who’s responsible for it breaking. But, you can also choose to fix it and move on.
Deflecting and blame waste time. And, time is precious. So, noticing where you choose to blame versus choose the empowering story is a great place to get curious.
There is no shortcut to living a principle and values-based life.
So, if you're ready to wake your inner superhero traits, here are 7 steps to take.
1. Begin to pay attention to your choices, for there are many.
2. Recognize when you make decisions without actually being aware or thoughtful.
3. Develop at least five other possible choices.
4. Think through all the potential consequences, so you won’t find yourself surprised.
5. Wake up from the fantasy that someone else is responsible for whatever is bothering you.
6. Develop some compelling solutions.
7. Take actions that make sense for you and the situation.
You can’t talk about others taking responsibility without looking at how you need to do better yourself. It’s the only way to wake the sleeping hero within you.
Part of the way that we develop multiple options for ourselves is to become radically curious on our own behalf.
So, now, are you willing to take full responsibility for yourself?
Begin by looking at what needs to happen to solve the broken thing. This point is the foundation of coaching and my work. Each one of us plays the central role in the life story we create.
You have to resolve yourself to get out of the fairytale, that someone else will heroically come and save you. It’s way past time to put on your superhero costume and save yourself — this is one of the best truths I know.
Being your own superhero is an important super-secret of the universe. And, I challenge you to put on that form-fitting outfit and fly into your life!
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Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC is a Clinical Social Worker, a Whole Life Executive Coach, and the author of StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Life who works with individuals to draw on their empowered stories, internal wisdom, and self-awareness. To learn more, visit her website or schedule your Complimentary Introductory Session.
This article was originally published at Lyssa deHart. Reprinted with permission from the author.