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By Lisa Petsinis — Written on Sep 25, 2018
When you're in a healthy romantic relationship, it just feels different. You experience a whole list of emotions that are sure signs you love someone and are loved in return.
But how do you know when you're in love with someone and it's time for you to stop searching and a make a commitment?
You can try using your rational judgment and checking off the boxes on your ideal partner list, but falling in love isn't always so neat and tidy.
In the end, it comes down to how they make you feel, because feelings don't lie.
Your emotions are meant to protect you from making unhealthy relationship choices. You instinctively know how the right relationship doesn't feel. It's not constricting, maddening, suffocating, closed, unstable, or depressing. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Being in love with "the one" feels, well ... good.
Aside from the racing heart and giddy-headiness of romantic love in its early stages, love brings on physiological changes.
Neuroscientists researching the effects of love on the human brain have found "empirical evidence of love-related alterations in the underlying functional architecture of the brain."
Research has also found that experiencing love within healthy long-term relationships and marriages can activate centers in the brain and act as a protective mechanism against physical and emotional pain and stress.
Of course, love isn't all roses. Even in the healthiest relationships and marriages, emotions can and do fluctuate.
It's normal to experience a full range of emotions with your partner, including those we tend to think of as negative, such as frustration, anger and hurt.
Love is love, but making and keeping a commitment is a choice you make every day. You must listen to your heart in order to make the best decisions for yourself and your future.
If you're stuck on the fence about your partner and whether or not they're right for you, it's time to connect with your heart and be brutally honest with yourself about what you're feeling.
If you're confused about how to know if you're really in love, check out this list of 10 emotions that are signs you are loved — and in love.
1. Excited
If you're still feeling anticipation after the honeymoon period, you're in great shape!
Do you feel excited when you're together? Real love brings enthusiasm and awakening to experience pleasure and new things.
2. Secure
Being in their arms feels like a safe harbor. You never fear them or their actions.
You trust them explicitly and you take comfort in knowing they'll never intentionally lie, cheat, or break your heart.
3. Accepted
You know you can live your values and be who you are around them — your authentic and unfiltered self.
They make you feel support when you're going for your dreams, perhaps even when no one else understands them.
4. Empowered
You feel capable of solving any problem and acting on your own behalf. You're a free agent with skills and dreams and a whole world out there to conquer.
5. Radiant
You feel attractive in your own skin and you know that your partner loves all of you. They often tell you that you are beautiful — inside and out.
Thus, there is a confidence that radiates and shines from within you.
6. Compassionate
Your heart feels two sizes larger. Not only do you have kindness and generosity to show your family, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens, you have compassion for yourself.
This type of love makes you want to nurture yourself and be the best person you can be.
7. Hopeful
You envision a future for yourself that is positive, successful, and happy. No matter what is thrown at you, you have faith that you can overcome it.
Together, it's the two of you, for the world!
8. Joyful
There is a lightness about you and your relationship.
Beyond fun and laughter, which you experience regularly, you are overcome with delight and pleasure whenever you even think of them.
9. Connected
Whether you're sitting side by side or far away, you feel the other's presence. It feels like there is an invisible string that connects you.
You communicate without saying a word and when you're intimate, the world falls away around you.
10. Complete
Like Jerry Maguire said, "You complete me."
Yes, you may feel like a jigsaw puzzle that fits perfectly together. But, soulmate love will make you feel whole in your own right and living on purpose.
If you’re lucky enough to experience these feelings, you'll know you're in the right relationship. This type of love will sustain you through life's challenges, and your bond will get stronger over time.
Trust your feelings. They won't steer you wrong.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified coach who works with strong, resourceful women who want to create a life they love. Contact her for more information or to sign up for her newsletter.