The Type Of Toxic Person You Attract (And Why), Based On Your Personality Type

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type of toxic person you attract by personality type

Relationships are very complicated. You always want to choose the right people to build relationships with, but unfortunately, things don't always go as planned. We often catch ourselves wondering why certain types of people are attracted to us — both the good and maybe the not-so-good. 

It's fun to know why the good relationships come into your life, but it's more important to understand why the wrong person comes into our lives. The kind of people we attract has a lot do with our personality. What personality traits might you have that are attracting these people into your life?

Being able to get a good grasp of your Myers Briggs personality type can greatly impact how you see your relationships and why certain people may be drawn to you.

So here's the type of toxic person your personality type tends to attract.


You're extroverted and charismatic, but one of your biggest goals in life is to make sure people like you — and you have no problem going out of your way to achieve this likability, even if it means letting the wrong people into your life. You tend to care too much about what other people think, so you usually attract people who know that they can influence or manipulate you.

The most important thing for you to remember is that you can't get everyone to like you and the people who like you as you are without trying to change you are the only people who matter anyway. 

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You're incredibly enthusiastic and upbeat. Pleasing people is important to you and you're often willing to sacrifice your personal time to do so.

This is why you attract users, or in other words, people who'll use you. They know that you'll always agree to basically anything they want and they also know how easy it can be to get you to agree. You're willing to go the distance for these people, but they aren't willing to do the same for you. 

You're wasting your precious personal time, money, and everything else by letting in people like this, so do yourself a big favor and walk away from them. 

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You're strong-willed, cool under pressure, and are usually the most confident person in the room without even really trying to be. These are qualities that fascinate people and draw them to you, making you a brilliant leader and role model for many. However, this is also what attracts the wrong type of people to you. 

The most common kind of toxic person you attract is the narcissist. They want to be everything you are, so they'll squeeze their way into your life with seemingly good intentions until they reveal their true colors. Their ultimate goal was to take your place at the head of the table — and of course, when dealing with a narcissist there's never room for two at the top. 

Although asserting your dominance over your own life is typically no sweat for you, you'll still need to keep one eye open around these people and remember to stand your ground a little firmer than usual when dealing with them.

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4. ENTP​​

Your personality type is one of the rarest in the world, so you can expect to have a lot of fans and followers who admire your uniqueness. But we're not just talking Instagram followers. 

There will be many copycats and fakes out there who want to be just like you. They think they can mimic your appeal and authenticity. Don't worry, though. You have enough loyal, trustworthy people in your corner who will always be able to separate the knockoffs from the original.

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People admire you no matter where you go or what you do. ESTJs are grounded, responsible individuals and everyone looks to them for advice and guidance. You absolutely love your position as the role model and you always help the people who look up to you with their best interests in your mind, but not everyone who comes to you will give you that same respect. 

This personality type understands the importance of security and comfort zones, so they're always willing to lend an ear and give you some advice. They want their friends and everyone who looks up to them to feel safe and that there's someone they can count on to talk to when they're feeling lost. Unfortunately, there are people who will take advantage of this. Some people will get too clingy with you and try to dominate all your time. They know that you can't resist anyone who looks up to you and needs advice. But when they have fully inserted themselves into your lives and are seeking this advice at basically every waking hour of your life, then a line has been crossed. 

It can be hard for an ESTJ to say no, especially to someone who they think needs their guidance, but it's extremely important that you don't let your generosity get taken advantage of by toxic people.

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You like to dive into everything head-first. You're not one to live by the rules and prefer to enjoy the spontaneity that life brings, instead.

Your ability to live life your own way is a huge part of your charm, but it also causes some green eyes. Some people are jealous of your free-spirited, unapologetic approach to life. They try to bring you down and want to make you feel like an outcast instead of the special, easygoing individual you really are. They'll judge everything you do and have no shame passing their thoughts about you around to others but deep down they really just envy you and wish that they could be as unique as you are without caring what everyone thinks.

Lucky for you, you're much too content with who you are to let a little gossip by some judgmental people bring you down.

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7. ESFP​​

All eyes are on you! This personality loves to be in the spotlight. You know who they are as soon as they walk into a room and heads will definitely turn.

It isn't your fault, but with a dazzling reputation like yours, you're unfortunately bound to attract some people who like to stir the pot. These people like to start a commotion with some drama and you're a prime target. They have nothing better to do with their time than provoke drama and they thrive off of bringing a superstar like you down.

You can't let these drama queens get to you and try to remember that you have way more people who want the best for you than those who don't.

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8. ESFJ​​

You can think of yourself as the superhero of personality types. You always want to do the right thing and care deeply about the people around you. You can't stand to see someone in trouble, so naturally those who have a victim syndrome tend to flock to you. They want to be "saved" by you and they know how much empathy you have for others.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult to spot a victim right away, but over time it will become clear as day. You'll start to notice that the victim seeks refuge and a way to end their suffering — but that they never actually take any action to do so. They'll use your big heart as a shield to protect them from this world, so they don't have to ever face their own problems.

Don't let yourself get caught in this toxic cycle with a victim. There are some people who just aren't worth your heroic efforts.

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You're friendly, but you also greatly value your privacy. You appreciate having time to yourself and you don't always let everyone into your life right away. Some people may take this personally and will lash out at you for not immediately responding to them and becoming their BFF's right off the bat. They're pushy and temperamental — and exactly the type of toxic personality you don't need in your life.

Temperamental people don't have the control that you do over their emotions, especially the negative ones. They'll try to make you feel bad for them, because of this so it can be a challenge not letting these people get in your head. But thankfully, you do a great job at keeping your cool so ignore these people and move on with your life. 

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10. ISTJ

You truly have the patience of a saint. As a natural introvert, you're a reserved and quiet individual who likes to observe and take things in rather than talk. Some people just can't stand how calm and collected you are and how you always think before you speak. Since you don't really like to vocally offer your opinions all the time, these people will seek out opportunities to put you down and show that they're better than you are. These "I'm better than everyone else" types have serious superiority complexes and are usually all talk and no game. Unlike you, they've obviously never heard that silence is indeed golden.

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11. ISFJ

You're kind and warm-hearted. You have an amazing awareness of other people's feelings, so you're uncomfortable with any kind of conflict. This personality type likes to keep their lives free of confrontation and tries their best to guard themselves against it. 

The bully will use this against you. They're mad that they can't get a rise out of you and will try their hardest to break down your defenses. They tend to think that since you're such a sweet person it will be easy to break you down, but they couldn't be more wrong about you. You'll always stand up for yourself and you do it in the most respectable way possible, without ever raising a finger or your voice, unlike the brutish bully. In the end, you'll be the one standing tall while the bully is left feeling foolish.

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12. ISFP

You're service-oriented and you enjoy helping people whenever you can. However, as an introvert, you also have a quiet side. Arrogant types tend to seek you out because they know that you're nice enough to help them and won't speak up when they start making jokes that cross the line. These people are just downright offensive. It's in your personality to want to help them even when they're being rude, but they're just not worth your time. The best action to take is to drop them and move on to someone who really needs the help.

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13. INTP​​

You're easygoing and highly independent. This is why you attract the mean girl clique type. She believes that people belong to a hierarchy of groups, not as different individuals with their own minds. And this is why she doesn't like you. You think for yourself and you're never one to just go along with the crowd, especially if it's something that doesn't feel right to you. She probably holds a personal grudge against you for being this way, but she's really just envious that she can't be an independent thinker like you. 

But you won't let girls like this bring you down, because you value your individualism far too much.

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14. INFP

You're creative and expressive. Your dreams are big and you want to make them all come true. But, not everyone will support you. In fact, there are some people out there who just can't wait to crush those dreams. They'll laugh at you and tell you how unrealistic you're being. They'll say that you'll never be able to do this, this, and that. 

It's important for you to realize that these people are really just upset with themselves because they never believed in or had the confidence to make their own dreams come true, so now they want to ruin it for people like you. But your faith in yourself and your dreams is much stronger than they realize and you're not about to let these dream-crushers stand in the way of achieving everything you've wanted.

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15. INTJ​

You've got a very strong work ethic and anything you put your mind to, you can do with little problems. You have a quick, ambitious mind and your ability to see logic is unmatched by any other personality type. People look to you when they need someone to make an important, informed decision. 

This is why you attract people who want to challenge you — but not in a good way. They want to one-up you and will obsessively be keeping score. They'll always be quick to point out any little mistake you make. They're waiting to find any kind of thing to fault you for, so they can use it against you whenever they feel like it. These people can be very tricky, because you don't always know when they're going to pull something negative against you out of their bags.

But what they don't know is that your sharp-witted mind always keeps you one step ahead.

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16. INFJ​

You're passionate and gentle. You also have a brilliant imagination that is constantly churning out original ideas. Your complex, different way of seeing things is what makes you really stand out from other personality types.

However, some people will be a little too into your ideas. They'll want to steal them and then take the credit. Don't worry, though. These people are often so conceited that they'll speak before thinking and boast to everyone and anyone about their stolen ideas. They make such a show of it that it raises alarm bells and becomes obvious that there's no way they thought of this themselves. Only an INFJ is capable of thinking quite that creatively and they'll never be you, no matter how much they really want to be.

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